My parents are slowly evaporating a few synapses at a time losing their past their future and finally their present.
My mom can still talk and as we walk she says the same things every few minutes.
The feelings of gratitude are heartwarming and genuine even on repeat.
Her world has pillars of memories so strong the core is evident as the periphery fades.
Where am I living now? She’ll never know. My life to her is a gauzy frost frozen in place.
We talk of frustration and acceptance like a chant, she repeats “it’s better than the alternative!”
I try to slide into this surreal world accepting only the present forgetting the past living truly in the moment
of course it is impossible each repetition grates inevitably my mind is full of thoughts overflowing.
But in the end, I know I will end up here, too acceptance is hard but maybe this practice will help me then.
I truly do feel such gratitude for mom and dad and life thank you!