The void is filled with tiny waves each wave a little packet building to a summit where, surrounded by the field a maelstrom of nothing rests insulated from the noise and heat touching only by inference moving on the path of least resistance
I’m playing at the edge of this tempting void dipping my foot in the eternity of silence that waits with patience for my solid stance
I crave the certainty that certain knowledge will bring I search and wait for those facts which will hold my weight
but then I know that once I do I will be looking out upon an undulating field strangely the same as the one I already knew
but then my feet will stand so strong that my desire to walk will with certainty, fade.
Knowing this now, I should act the moments are brief before the solitude is complete but something draws me ever in because in the center, I win
while no longer will I really doubt there will still be lots to doubt about when someone says I ought or didn’t, or should that disturbance in the field will pull me here and there but always as the center
On my way in, I’ve been looking out for other centers, playing the field and this is where I’ve found that centers are not always round
The closer they get to you the more your fields push and distort pulling you apart the walls of vibration squeezed so tall without certain facts, one would surely fall
And so they fall, short of certain facts cowering in the waves of my reflection which look perfectly normal from the angle at which I stand
for a while I tried to shape my field vibes at different frequencies and phases I end up passing through hoping to tune in a friend in this unstable place
but the only stable mode is a standing wave, or absolute cold so I shake off those feelings with a deep breath I’m getting old
But old age loves company and the search continues anew first I reach out to you from this center where I write and then I tire and consider sleep
fighting gravity to unpack these thoughts from the crushing of the field is hard enough for me how can I ever send them to you when my waves push you away even as they try to draw you in?